The Lemon Parade
by mysticalunicorn32
Summary: Edward, nerd extraordinaire and blogger recently single trying the online dating thing. Bella the overachiever and do-good feeling awkward and lost.


A/N: So I was driving home from work at 3:30 this morning and Tonic's Lemon Parade came on Spotify. Well I was hit with this little bunny about as fast as I was driving. It drove me crazy until I could get home and put it down. This will be rough and unedited but I'll work on that later. I haven't written anything new in a long time. I promise to get to my wips as soon as inspiration for those hit again. Its just hard to force the stories if you know what I mean. Anyways I'm here and the song is playing on repeat beside me and the story is bouncing around in my head. The usual applies- I don't own twilight or the characters that we graciously are allowed to play with. If you haven't heard the song before head over to youtube and give it a listen. Its an older song from the 90's but its one of my favorites from these guys. When Edward starts to post the dialogue from his night his words will be in italics and Bella's normal.

I sat down and logged into my computer and started a new document. I was putting myself back out there and dating again and my boss asked me to write an article for our webpage documenting my progress. So here I am, staring at my laptop, starting today's post.

March 1st 2014

What had I gotten myself into? Rose and Emmett had begged for me to let them set me up with someone ever since Ashley had left. They really didn't like her but tolerated her for my benefit. Now that she is history, I can see what they meant when they said she was up to no good. She left me with a crap ton of bills and ran off with the bartender at the club we all frequented on weekends. Needless to say that bar doesn't get our business anymore. To hell with them and their fuckboy bartenders. Anyways the girls they set me up with was either too shallow or crazy or something. So Rose agreed to let me sign up for one of those online dating sites like match or eHarmony. I found one that was free and signed up. I kept my profile pictures private because I wanted to see who I could attract with who I was and not what I looked like. I am seriously starting to regret this completely. I can see now how women, wait girls (the way some of these women act), feel when they are sent dick pics. I have gotten pics of some random chicks boobs or (excuse the language) pussy. What happened to the morals and manners of the past? Why can't people protect their most prized possession? I want to get to know someone before I see what should be saved for a relationship that is going to be long term, or marriage. I at least want to know you better before I see that. If I wanted to see that I would go to the strip club downtown. Anyways I've chatted with some women but just can't seem to click with them. Next week is a social mixer at one of the dance clubs downtown for singles in the area. I'll be there, begrudingly, to check it out and see if I can find someone I click with. I seriously doubt I will but I will try. I can't let you guys down now can I?

March 8th. 2014

Well I'm kicking myself as I get ready. I'm going to try and do this live kinda. I decided on my dark denim jeans and a jade green button up that Ashley hated and gave up on my hair, it was going to do its own thing anyways. I forgot to pick up my contacts so im stuck wearing my glasses that look kinda like Clark Kent's glasses in Superman.

I just walked through the door. If your here come say hello. This place is crazy packed. The band sounds good though. I collected my wristband and name tag signifying that I was here with the dating sites group. Wow all these "Girls" are barely dressed. I guess I should have been born in an earlier generation because this just doesn't do anything for me, these short short skirts and tight tops. A lot of these women look like the strippers a couple blocks over. If one more person grabs my ass or tries to make a grab for my junk I'm leaving.

I've given up and went to sit at the bar. Just my luck the beer is lukewarm and tastes like what I would assume piss tastes like. I push it aside and just play with the napkin in front of me. My anxiety is starting to take over. I'm so close to leaving.

I decide to people watch for a bit. If I can't be successful at least I can give you guys something to laugh at. There's brunettes, Red heads, punks, goths, nerds….wait, she doesn't look like she belongs here. She's dressed in jeans and what looks like a red off the shoulder top, delicate looking glasses, and

she has this long beautiful wavy hair that looks almost black in this light. She's playing with her lukewarm beer as well. Wish me luck I'm going over to say hello.

Well, its now about 3am and I have to say this is going to be a slightly longer post. This is going to look a little strange, but I'm going to post some of the dialogue from the rest of the night up to this point. 

" _Hello. I'm Edward. Are you here with the love exists group?"_

"Oh, hello, yeah. I was forced to come by my friends. I'm Bella."

" _How do you like the lukewarm beer?_ "

"It isn't my favorite but I guess it will do. The band is probably the best part of the night."

" _Ouch."_

"Present company excluded."

Damn her laugh is so adorable. The way she pushes her glasses back up her nose kind of turns me on. I know I am such a dork.

" _Well there are a lot of weirdos here tonight._ "

"Yeah, seems like everyone wants to get you in bed."

" _I can't tell you how many men and women have tried to grab my ass or my junk."_

"Yeah, I feel so out of place. I'm so ready to go home, well I was until you came over."

" _Yeah?"_

"Yeah."

" _Want to get out of here? Maybe take a walk down by the river? I mean its so loud in here and I can hardly hear you. If you want to."_

I felt so nervous talking to her. I don't know why, I never had that issue before.

"Sure why not. I'm over this place."

We left the god awful club and headed towards the river a couple blocks away. I can't remember all of the conversation but it was a breath of fresh air to talk to her. She is a scientist for the Centers of Disease Control and a hoarder of books, (her words not mine). I have a date with her next weekend. Can't wait to fill you guys in.

March 16th 2014

Well our date was a success. She agreed to another date. This is my last entry for this subject. The boss will probably fire me but I just can't find time to write when all I want to do is talk to Bella.

"You got fired?!" Rose yelled. "How the hell do you get fired from a job where you work at home?"

"Well, Rose, I met Bella and well, I don't want to write. I don't have the desire to hole myself up in my house when I have this beautiful woman that's willing to spend her free time and her books with me."

"You're hopeless. When can we meet her?"

"Tonight actually, she will be joining us for our weekly dinner. You'll like her, she's smart, funny and well you'll see."

"Can't wait."

"Chill with the sarcasm Rose."

"Well, we know how you can pick them, look at Ashley."

"She's nothing like Ashley. Promise you'll be nice."

"OK, OK, OK. I promise. I have to look after my baby brother tho. You know that right?"

"Yeah, I know. See you in a few."

I stopped and picked up some brightly colored flowers on my way to Bella's house. Rose loved her and she was able to keep up with Emmett's loud personality. It was like she was made for our little group.

"I'm glad you had fun tonight." I said as I walked her to her door.

"I was expecting to feel uncomfortable and awkward but it was nice. Would you like to come in?"

"Sure."

She kicked her shoes off and headed into the kitchen as she mumbled about making myself comfortable. A huge dog came bounding down the hallway and jumped up on the couch beside me.

"Muffins get down. Sorry he's a big baby. My dad bought him for me as a guard dog but yeah, he's not very successful at that."

"He's cool." I said as I scratched behind his ear.

I stood up and walked around her living room looking at the pictures placed all over.

"I wish I had seen you when you were younger, before life and others put their mark on you. Did the boys tease you? Where you always the last to be picked? Did you ever get asked to the dance?"

"The boys always considered me one of the boys until high school then everyone just kind of drifted away."

"Did you date a lot?"

"No not til after college. I focused on school."

"Did you hide behind your books and make friends with the characters?"

"Yeah, they were my friends after I became the nerd. I just couldn't be bothered with friendships when I knew I wanted to find the cure for cancer and other terminal diseases. The other kids just eventually stopped coming around."

"I wish I knew you then, I would have protected you from all that. Bella?"

"Yeah, Edward?"

"Would you be my girlfriend?"

"I thought you would never ask."

A/N: Well thats it for now. I dont know if there will be more or not. Like I said its rough and choppy but hang with me and eventually i'll get it edited and fixed….. well let me know what you think and if you would like to know what happens or not.


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